Partners+O

Omi and Raychel media type="custom" key="5987309"toc

By Ozzzie

__Omi and Raychel are doing the character John Tolliver Crogan.__

This page used for planning and discussion; the drafting page for Omi and Raychel is here.

Hello my name is Omi (code name) and I am eleven years old. Just to let you know I am a girl. I love rock climbing and heaps of sports! The __Beatles__ (best band ever) Rock! At school my favourite subject is science. My fav food is pasta with butter.

PLAN
I love the story line maybe you could set it out as a plan that would be great love the pics, talk soon bye

Detailed Plan (first draft)
I argee with the subplot idea.

Mabye we could have John take place in world war one and have John be a hero and help save the veitnam children from the bombing. He might seem like a hero to the vietnam but not to England. England sends a spy to try to kill John from helping them because he is a trator and knows what weapons England has and their secrets.Tell me what you think.

1914 to 1918 (Omi - change plan and add in the sub-plot)

Characters: John Tolliver Crogan

Location: the English Channel, in his plane

Goal (what does the Crogan want?) To cross the English Channel in his plane.

Impediment (why can't the Crogan get it?) All the fuel has leaked out of a hole in the plane, there is no fuel left in the plane, plane starts to go down to the sea.

Solution (What do they do to try and get what they want?) steers (while going down) to the nearest fishing boat and lands on it, there is parachute so John just had to hope there was a boat passing by.

FURTHER REPLY
Wow, you have a great starting! I can't wait to hear more. Mabye if you give the layout of what the story is going to be about then I might be able to add on a few things. But besides that I like the starting. I found a couple of mistakes but that's all.

Omi's reply
Just to let you know feel free to change the frame story to make even better. The way I think the frame story and the real story could join is that, Eric crosses the grass and the alarms go of, and in the real story John Tolliver Crogan crosses the England Channel and run's out of fuel. Does it make sense to you? Ok then i'll get started on the plan of the story and you can improve on it! ​ *I like the way you are going with this but lets try to think of other frame story ideas we can do.


 * Mabye we should make a list of frame stories and choose one from that. I like where you're heading but lets see what else we can make up.​

One more question: how old are you?

I'm 12years old.

Questions
What music do you listen to?

Do you have any pets?

What is your favourite subject at school?

Reply
Hi my name is Raychel and I am so excited to do this project with you. I don't have a favorite music because I like all sorts of music. I have two guinea pigs and their names are Cinnamon and Ginger. I also have a very boring fish named Kacie. My favorite subject in school is language arts. I can't wait to start writing!

Further Reply
sweet names for your guinea pigs In fact my friends code name is cinnamon. I am also so excited to do this project with you to! Infact my friend Vampirefan has nine guinea pigs!

Omi's brainstorm ideas
Here are some ideas for a Crogan story:

Daniel Crogan (escape artist) : not being able to escape when he is really caught and tied up.

David Crogan (smuggler) : smuggles jewels into England, they get stolen he is in big trouble!

John Tolliver Crogan (pilot) : runs out of fuel while crossing the Atalantic ocean.

Geoffrey Crogan (assasin) : He has to kidnap the queen or he will die

REPLY
Wow! You have amazing ideas for the Crogan Adventures! I think I like John Tolliver Crogan the most. But I am willing to do any of your ideas because they sound so creative! I have an idea I want to share with you.

Joseph Crogan (diamond miner) : stuck in a mine for a week and his friend and him are the only survivers.

Crogan Character
So which one do you think we should do?

Joseph Crogan or John Tollier Crogan? I would like to do John Tollier Crogan What do you think?

By the way I love your idea do you have any more?

REPLY
I don't have any more ideas but I really like John Tollier Crogan too. Mabye we should brainstorm what is going to happen in our story before we start writing our story.

John Tollier Crogan
I agree to. I think we should do John Tollier Crogan and start writing the plan!

REPLY
So how do you want to start the story out? Like what do you want the family to do in the begining?

-Raychel