N+drafting

__The Real Story__

Mimi's final version
‘Where is it,’ Eric thought frustrated. “Where is your text book, Eric” Miss Hardburn, Erics teacher, asked him sternly. “I-I don’t know,” Eric mumbled. “What did you say?” “I-I said I don’t know where it is.” “You don’t know where it is, you have pulled the short straw Eric, detention until you find it.” Eric’s head dropped down. * * * 2 hours later After Eric’s painful detention he met his dad at the park and sat next to him on a bench they sat in silence until. “Son you remind me of your great great uncle Calloway Crogan, it looks like you have some detective work on your hands, let me tell you a story about Calloway Crogan.” “It starts in 1951 and a cold rude winter was brewing up…” The ranch was covered in snow the horses had all had the chill. Everyone was dismal and unhappy apart for one person. Porker, Calloway Crogan does idle assistant. It was his birthday on Thursday and he couldn’t wait to see what Calloway had got him. What Porker didn’t know is that Calloway had completely forgotten about Porkers Birthday. RING RING “Hello…” “Right Porker were going to London Red Toe (the bosses new code name) says that he has had a call from the queen her granddaughter has been kidnapped.” “London, WOW!” LONDON ENGLAND12:00 WEDNESDAY After a thirteen hour flight they arrived at bucking ham palace were they stayed to look for clues. There was a note on the little girls window: Dear Majesty, If you ever want your darling Lyndsay, then you must follow this simple instruction, No cops or detectives On your ball in ten days, you have to find me and give me 100,000 dollars. I will be wearing a bright red tie with a black suit. I will wear a white and black hat. If you dont than you won't ever get your dear lyndsay back. See you there!

Miss BookWorm's first draft of the story
Eric was at school when he needed his textbook for math. He kept looking all over his class room. He thought that he left it there, but it was not. He looked everywhere. He searched in his looker, his classrooms, his backpack, but it wasnt there. When his teacher found out he had lost his book he told him that he had to go to detention for an hour after school every day until hetoc

found his book. When his dad found out he got detention he waited on the bench until he got out. He said that it reminded him of his great uncle Calloway the private eye. Then the dad started to tell the story about his great uncle Calloway Crogan the private eye. It all started in 1951 in a cold rude winter. It was coming up on porker (Calloway's assistant) birthday. Every year his birthday wnded up on an important case but this year he thought it would be diffrent until the phone call. Calloway was looking for the perfect gift for Porkers when he got a call from his boss, Agent red toe, that was his code name. The call was that the Queen of England's granddaughter was kiddnapped. Right away he drop the gift and ran to the shop, he told Porkers the mission forgeting all about his birthday. The next day at 3:00 am they went and hoped on a plane to England to find the girl.

After a 9 hour flight, they arrivied at the Queen's palace to look for clues to see if the kiddnapper left. The only thing in the little Lyndsay's room was her toys, her bed and her desks. Porker took and extra look but nothing, until he looked by the window. There was a note in diffrent font from the kiddnapper, the note
 * London, England: 12:00 Thursday**

Dear my Queen, If you ever want your dear darling Lyndsay, then you must follow these simple instructions, 1. No cops or detectives 2. Follow every instruction 3. On your ball in ten days, you have to find me and give me 100,000 dollars. I will be wearing a bright red tie with a black suit. I will wear a white and black hat. If you dont than you won't ever get your dear lyndsay back. There is one more way to get her back meet me today at midnight at Cafe Black if you want to get her back Sign ?????????

"We will go" Porkers said immediatly, " The note said no cops or detectives" said the queen "forget that he is trying to play you" porkers said "Just trust me we will get Lyndsay back no matter the risk" Calloway told the Queen in a sincere voice

Midnight struck cafe black was empty, the shadow of the men were huanting. Porkers found a note, it said

You though you would get her back didnt you go back to the palace dear Calloway and find the new suprise Sign ??????

"How does he know you" Porkers though. Calloway had know clue but he knew that this game had just gotten started.

At the palace where the Queen lied in shock, her dear buttler was murdered no note, Calloway new they needed to work fast to find Lyndsay. All night they stayed up and stood right by the Queen's room until a faitle scream shocked their ears. The scream came from Lyndsay's room. When they walked in they saw the best friend of Lyndsay on the bed tied up with a note

Your time will run out, Little Lyndsay was hidden until this little girl found her. With this clue you will have three places to go

The Londoon Eye Big Been Cafe wwons

Sign ???????

Then Porkers notices all the places where spelled wrong. He put the extra letters together and it spelled OEW. It was an old shop in the town. (not done)

Frame stories
__**Miss BookWorm's**__ Eric was at school when he needed his textbook for math. He kept looking all over his class room. He thought that he left it there, but it was not. He looked everywhere. He searched in his looker, his classrooms, his backpack, but it wasnt there. When his teacher found out he had lost his book he told him that he had to go to detention for an hour after school every day until he found his book. When his dad found out he got detention he waited on the bench until he got out. He said that it reminded him of his great uncle Calloway the private eye. Then the dad started to tell the story about his great uncle Calloway Crogan the private eye. After he told the story the next day Eric went back to school and thought like Calloway Crogan. He went into the last place he had it, the library. He looked and he found his textbook right next to the computer where he had left it.

"Uh, where is it,"said Eric a fine crease forming on his forehead. The boy passed up and down his classroom, trying to remember where he put his folder. "Who is in there?" Mrs Smith Eric's form tutor, shouted from behind the door. "It's me, Eric!" "And what do you think you are doing here after home time. She said opining the door as she spoke. You know you are not suppose to." Mrs Smith's shadow grew over Eric; he stumbled into the back of a desk as he tried to do a runner. Mrs Smith's eyebrow raised as she realised what he was trying to do. 'Hey, that reminds me of a
 * __Minnie's:__**

**The more detailed plan**
The private eye gets a call from his secret boss (who could have a code name or something) about a girl who has been kidnapped.His sidekick (porker could be his name then we can draw him like really fat and so that he loves doughnuts like homer Simpson) and the private eye try and get clues then poker gets a text saying meet me where green and red seats are where people meet(parliament square London). They travel from California to London where they meet him at two o'clock they hear big Ben chime and the criminal is there under big Ben. He leads them to a warehouse where he disperes he turns up behind them and hits porker on the head with a piece of metal. Porker is knocked out. The private eye then gets a gun out of his trench coat pocket and aims it at the criminal. The criminal puts his hands up and surrenders and goes down on his knees. The private eye gets handcuffs out of his other pocket and handcuffs the criminal. The private eye then asks him where the girl is he says she is behind the door on the right. The door is locked so the private eye uses the piece of the metal to prize open the door where the little girl is waiting crying in a corner of a dark room. Porker finally wakes up and calls the police. They come with there cars with flashing lights and take the criminal, with them is the girls dad he runs and the little girl runs and they give each other a big hug. Poker and the private detective get a reward of 5000 dollars and everything is fine the boss calls and says he did a good job.