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This page used for planning and discussion; the drafting page for Little Red Riding Hood and Mr. AWESOME is here.

We are doing Joseph Crogan the diamond miner. Photo By Diamond Mountain

umm who is doing the next paragraph

Frame Story Draft 1
"Dagnabbit Eric! Every time something happens, it's always you!" dad thundered, his beginning to nose wrinkle.

"Dad,it's ok, I'll fix it in the weekend, I promise," Eric begged, also trying to calm his dad.

It worked. Eric sighed in relief and turned his head away to smile.

"Be careful with it, this neckless is extremely old, one of your ancestors found the diamonds on it more than a century ago."

Eric stared at the neckless in disbelief, trying to remember a diamond miner in one of his dad's many mysterious stories. He shook his head as thoughts flooded his mind. No, no diamond miner came through.

"What was the diamond miner called," Eric asked curiously.

"Joseph Crogan was his name, I haven't told you any of his stories yet. Hmm, I guess there's nothing else to do at the moment and no one else is at home yet. I should tell you one of his stories."

Eric was placed on the floor, sitting cross legged. His dad came down to join him.

"I'll tell you the story about where these particular diamonds came from," said dad, picking up one of the diamonds from the floor.

yeah its good i agree how you thought of the topic and listened to my idea i' think of paragraph 2 later but list some ideas if you want me to to include you+ i like the ring idea. better rock paper siccisors


 * //__

Hi I'm Randy:) __//**

About Little Red Riding Hood
Hi I'm __** Little Red Riding Hood **__ (not my real name). I live in Ealing, London. I have a puppy which is a Shih-tzu cross with a toy poodle. I also have two guinea-pigs. I'm 10 years old. My hobbies are Ballet, Horse Riding, Piano & Violin. My favourite things about school are Lunchtime, Science and Music.

Questions for Randy
1. Which part of California do you come from? 2. What is your favourite hobby? 3. Do you like reading?

Bye Bye

Answers for Little Red Riding Hood
1. I come from the southern California. The beaches are awesome!!! 2. Video games and school my favourite is math. 3. Not really I'll do something else. Extra info, I'm 12 and happy for this project. I'm going to be BLUE!!! plus I have to dogs __1 rottweiler 2 little taco dogs__ <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Q's for little red riding hood
1.what is your favorite color? 2.what is your favorite book? I LIKE PIE !!!

Answers for Randy 1. ** My favourite colour is sunflower yellow ** 2. I don't really have a favorite book because I love reading any book that interests me and how did pie get in your mind out of the middle of nowhere? P.S. Sorry I didn't get a chance to write any plans tonight. I'll do them tomorrow. See ya

Little Red Riding Hood's Brainstorms and plans
John Tolliver Crogan:Pilot,1916 How he survived an enormous explosion
 * 1) Crogan is on his plane, narrowly missing bombs shooting at him from above.
 * 2) Crogan goes to a garage nearby and puts more fuel in his plane.
 * 3) John drives out the garage and takes off.
 * 4) Suddenly, he is hit by a bomb.
 * 5) John Lands quickly and escapes through the widscreen.

"Calloway" Crogan:Private Eye, 1951 How he became known as "Calloway"
 * 1) About to go to base but lost magnifying glass so looking for it.
 * 2) Got to base but was very late so thinks up an excuse.
 * 3) He wasn't believed so he comes up with another excuse.
 * 4) Almost believed when someone says "he's lying" so is not believed.
 * 5) Crogan decides to tell the truth and master calls Crogan a callow so makes name as "Calloway."

Joseph Crogan:Diamond Miner, 1895 When he found the bigggest diamond ever
 * 1) Crogan and two other miners dig a mine in the centre of Africa.
 * 2) They look around and decide they will dig in three different places in the mine.
 * 3) They all find diamonds under the ground inside the mine.
 * 4) They discuss and decide that it is only three big diamonds but...
 * 5) When they do more research, they discover that the diamond is under the whole of New York.

Hi Little Red Riding Hood, This MR.AWSOME, i like all of your ideas but the Diamond Miner was my favorite idea. To be unique i think we should do the Diamond Miner becuase a lot of other groups are doing the same thing.

Ideas for the Diamond miner: Boys break piece of jewlery. Dad explains that one their ancesters had found the diamonds on the necklace. Dad tells the story of how Joseph Crogan found the diamonds.

Beggining: Joesph was looking for the most valuable diamonds to give to his fiancee.

Middle who cares - should have conflict!

End He makes a HUGE engagement ring for his fiancee.

ect.

tell me whatcha think.

(hahahahaha i replied)

-MR.AWSOME

Hi MR AWSOME I prefer my idea about the diamond miner but I love the part where the dad starts telling Eric the story. If you changed that into a story it would sound something like this... ** "Dagnabbit Eric! Every time something happens, it's always you!" dad thundered, his beginning to nose wrinkle.
 * 

"Dad,it's ok, I'll fix it in the weekend, I promise," Eric begged, also trying to calm his dad.

It worked. Eric sighed in relief and turned his head away to smile.

"Be careful with it, this neckless is extremely old, one of your ancestors found the diamonds on it more than a century ago."

Eric stared at the neckless in disbelief, trying to remember a diamond miner in one of his dad's many mysterious stories. He shook his head as thoughts flooded his mind. No, no diamond miner came through.

"What was the diamond miner called," Eric asked curiously.

"Joseph Crogan was his name, I haven't told you any of his stories yet. Hmm, I guess there's nothing else to do at the moment and no one else is at home yet. I should tell you one of his stories."

Eric was placed on the floor, sitting cross legged. His dad came down to join him.

"I'll tell you the story about where these particular diamonds came from," said dad, picking up one of the diamonds from the floor.

**Do you like that? Could you write the next draft underneath this message and my "name" please. Thank you. Little Red Riding Hood

i think that the second paragraph should have joseph a little greddy and turned into a monster real or not and tears into the cave every night so nobody can take the Diamonds!!! **
 * I don't know about the paragragh comment please!

The story is that your grandpappy was a cracked young man and went crazy after the diamond buisness came to his town. he

went and signed for the job. After a day of back breaking labor he found his first diamond and thenhe went insane. He started

to work at least into 3 o'clock working to find the biggest diamond EVER. after the first over night stay he became obsessed over

diamonds and kept most to himself. So then he attaked his boss because he tried to take away the diamonds.

Hi MR AWSOME, We need a comflict in the actual story to make it more interesting to read otherwise it'll be so boring that after the first few paragraphs nobody would want to read it any more. By the way here is a 'Plan' with a 'sub-plan' **

Plan:
 * 1) Crogan and two other miners dig a mine in the centre of Africa.
 * 2) They look around and decide they will dig in three different places in the mine.
 * 3) They all find diamonds under the ground inside the mine.
 * 4) They discuss and decide that it is only three big diamonds but...
 * 5) When they do more research, they discover that the diamond is under the whole of New York.

Sub-plan:  If you don't understand the plan please tell me and I will make it more detailed. Little Red Riding Hood
 * 1) Crogan needs to buy a suit for his daughter's wedding.
 * 2) He finds one that fits him but needs to take it back to New York without spoiling it.
 * 3) He then needs to find the exact day that he should leave Africa.
 * 4) When he does find the day he thinks is right...
 * 5) Does he get back in time?(Don't give the answer so the reader has something to question themselves about.)

i like both plan and sub plan plus the daughters weddings was a good idea GOOD JOB!!!

What about Crogan getting lost in the mine, the further away he works from the others? There are volcanos in Africa, and Crogan can tumble into a lava tunnel, getting lost, really complicating getting to the wedding etc. He has been obsessed about finding the biggest diamond ever, but after he finds himself hopelessly lost, he re-thinks what is really important.

After three days of trying to find a way out of the lava tunnels, hungary, just getting moisture drips from the condensation on the walls of the lava caves, there is a huge rummbling. The volcano is erupting, the mountain shakes, heat is rising. All of a sudden a blast of air along with bits of rock blow Crogan like he is on a Disney ride. He rolls, tumbles, bumps, scraps, and has no control over where he is going. What has been dark is now getting faintly lighter. Deafening noise sends a final terrifying boom, and Crogan is blown right out of the side of the mountain.

Far from the mining area, he finds himself embedded with small bits of diamonds in his skin. His goal is to get food and water, and make it to the wedding. Escaping the mining boss, and noting some painful, but sizable chunks of diamond stuck in his body, he manages to...... Would that add a little interest?

Thank you!!!

draft