Partners+Vengeance

Pemlington and ovechkin toc media type="custom" key="5987343"

This page used for planning and discussion; the drafting page for Pemlington and overchkin is here.

My plan for the Charles Crogan story (Pemlington)
//(note before I start I just wanted to say that I'm going to include William Crogan Charles Crogan's twin brother in this plan. Also, I'm afraid we can't include any Germans as Charles Crogan and William Crogan are suppossed to be from the American war of independence when the Americans fought to become an Independent country and not have their country ruled by the British.I also thought it was the world war so don't worry!)//

Beginning:Charles Crogan has woken up early to polish his gun as it is dirty. (we can bulid suspence here. //e.g Charles heard a twig snap//) All of a sudden he gets taken hostage by the American's as they need information. He is blind folded and is gagged. He is taken to a very dark horrible place the American base camp (could do some description here).

Middle: Then the Charles feels a hand take of his blind fold to see William Crogan his twin. They stand there looking at eachother ( could describe William Crogan here) for ages. Then William Crogan's master comes in and askes him why he hasn't starter the questioning yet. Then Charles is forsed to either question Charles then kill him or the master will kill him.

End:William Crogan doesn't move a muscle, so is shot on the spot by 'The Master'. Then Master starts the questioning Charles and gets all the information he needs and shoots him too. so the two brothers die together.

My story idea:(Ovechkin)
Cory and Eric get in trouble that is how the story begins. .There dad tell them a story about Charles Crogan. .Charles Cogan was at the Britton army base. .And the Germans attack them and he has to go to war. .And england starts to team up with the britton army.

My ideas for the frame story (Pemlington)
Well Eric could be having a huge fight with his friend Jason and then he gets detention for shouting in the corridore??? Then Eric's Dad could sit them bothe down and say that " If you guys don't stop fighting like this you'll end up like the the twins. William and Charles Crogan. Just a suggestion Pweeese reply soon! :)

My brainstorm ideas (Pemlington)
These are some ideas for a few of the crogans: # Catfoot Crogan is an ophan and is taken by a local called Ms Smith who sells him to a Pirate ship that is in need of crew. # He hates it and knows the ship will sink. Know one belives him as he is the youngest on board. # He and his friend ,Starkey, has a plan to try to get a life boat. They both gets onto boat and sail away. Lose thier oars and are stranded at sea. sharks surrond them. (then we could leave on a ellipsis) # Geoffrey Crogan has been sent on a assignment by his master Mr X to kill Sarah Montgomery (random names we can change them) or Mr X will kill Geoffrey. # He see's her and it is love at first sight. # Dosen't realize but Sarah is an assassin too and kills him with lethal poison in cocktail she gave him # Johnathon Crogan is fighting the head cowboy, an arch enemy. # Cowboy gets scared and runs away. Johnathon follows him. They end up in desert with no food or water. # They pull together.Cowboy dieing but Johnathon is fine as is used to going with no food for days.Jhonathon teaches cowboy how to hunt. A bunch of cowbows come looking for the leader. Try to kill Johnathon but Head cowboy Won't let them. That is about it for today! Cya :)

My brainstorm ideas:My first Draft (Ovechkin)
These are some ideas for a few of the crogans Charles crogan is in the Britian army base and the Americans attack the base so Charles Crogan goes to get help for Englend agents the Americans.Charles starts in front of the army to try and stop them but they had to much bad blood agents the Americans so Charles went with them but did not kill any one because he ran back to the base were he was safe for some time but some Germans got past the Britain army and found Crogan unarmed so they took him hostige but they forced him to tell them were the Britain army was going so he told them were they were going so the Americans set Crogan free he went back to the base but he was armed with a butter knife but that was not enought agents the American because he was armed they took him to a secret base were no one could find him but he told him he was puting the butter knife away because he had toast in his hand with butter on it but they did not belive him so they did a test on the knife and they said sorry to crogan but they took him back to the base in the open and they had a gun but they did not shoot him when they got up closer he realized that they where Brithish but they still took him Hostige because he was in Americans army outfit the Americans swithed his outfit so they did a test and he was a Britain so they gave him a new outfit it was really cool because it was different then all the other ones so they took him to the American base and the Americans got killed because he brought in the Britain soldiers and killed them and took over the American base and turned it in to a Britain base so the Americans only have the secret base and crogan took them to it but they had many soldiers in the seceret base and the Britain took the hole army with them to take over the secret base and that will end the war but it did not turn out like that but the American herd the plan and retaliaided agents them and the battle started lots of men died from both sides but the Britans thought they won the battle but then the Americans leader Penelope Hickman and the Americans had more soilders then before so they ran but the war is still there the Britian soilders had more arttilary then the Americans it was scary but the Britian army was really scared that they were going to lose but the Americans started to retreat but the Britian is attacking it was going like that for afew years later the war was still going on but there is some help for the Britian and England the Russians were coming to help and that ended the war because the russians drop bombs from there Steath bomber. But then the Ukraines help the Americans and the war went on the americans captured Charles and william Crogan but they got the info that they needed and they got there guns polished and bang Charles DROPED the ground with a bullet in his lung then William Crogan was sitting there and they let him go they dont know why they did but he went to the base and grbed a gun a shot the person who shot his brother in the lung but that was a bad idea because the American leader shot william in the lung.And that was the story of william and Charles Crogan.
 * I like alot how youv'e included William to the story. I like it alo​t! **

Message from Pemlington's Teacher
Hi, Ovechkin!

Pemlington is enjoying collaborating with you, but we have some concerns about writing about 'torture' - it isn't something I am very comfortable my pupils writing about, I'm afraid! I'm sure you understand.

Pemlington is happy to write about Charles Crogan, but we want to avoid too much 'horror'.

One way to do this would be to include suspense - make the reader think that something horrible is about to happen to Charles without showing it.

What do you think?

Oh ok i did not no i will do that to my story.(Ovechkin)Ok i have fixed it if you dont like it pleas tell me.

Some things you need to know about me(Pemlington)
Hi I'm Pemlington (not real name)! I live in Ealing in London. I have just turned 11! I am a girl. I'm a christian, My dad is becoming a vicar. I love netball,playing my guitar and drawing.I have an older Sister. I have 2 cats. One is a **VERY** ​ fat cat called Lance (we named him after Lance Armstrong hoping he would be fast and speedy but all he does is sleep!) The other one is called Megan. She has no reason for the name we just like the name Megan.l call her nutmeg! She was a stray... I love the band called Paramore! If you haven't heard of them check them out on you tube! I find this project so cool! We are on different sides of the globe. I'm so excited! I would love to know more about Canada. It sounds so cool!

Some things you need to know about me (Ovechkin)
Hi I'm ovechkin(not real name)I live in Regina Sask Canada Earth Milky way I just turned 12 in Feb I like video games,computer,and watching television.And I have 1 cat his name is Gilbert he is fat two but he is also old.I like 3 days grace if you havent heard of them ckeck them out of youtube.I also think that this project is cool

My questions for ovechkin

 * 1) Are you a boy or a girl? I am a boy
 * 2) What are your hobbies? my hobbies are sports and video games
 * 3) Do you have pets? I have 1 cat
 * 4) Do you have siblings? 1 older sister
 * 5) What is Canada's food like? it is realy good
 * 6) Who is your favourite Crogan?Willam crogan
 * 7) Do you have any ideas?No not really

My questions for Pemlington
6. What is your favorite food? Pizza or Pasta and the sweet over hear called Percy Pigs! 7. What are your hobbies? I like netball,tennis and swimming (I'm kind of a sport fanatic)
 * 1) Do you like soccer? Yes I do. I also know my friend Messy cat does too.
 * 2) Do you have siblings ? Yes one older sister.
 * 3) Do you like your school? Yes. I love being around people. The teacher are lovely too!
 * 4) Do you like books? Yes I LOVE reading.
 * 5) Do you like Video games? Not really. But I like Sims 2 and 3 on the PC.

Desisions
In our shcool our teacher says we have to make a desision so you can either choose one of my ideas or you can suggest somthing. My personal favorite idea is Catfoot Crogan. Also we have to do a frame story with Eric and his Dad in like in the begining of Vengance. I will type a ruff draft of my idea of a frame story we can do. Please reply soon Love Pemlington XD

I hope you liked my story up there i thought it was really funny but you have some cool ideas two maybe we can put one big story from all of our storys together and make it one big story reply back soon cya(ovechkin)

Don't worry!!!
Don't worry I havn't deleted your work or anything all our Desusions are going to stay on this page a then all the work and drafting is on another page. If you want to go to the page just pree the 'here' underlined in blue. You proably already know that but I just wanted to tell you anyways. It stops too much happening on one page. oh well please reply soon. bye XD

Tell Me what you think!
Plese tell me what you think of my first daft of the story I need to know!